Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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