We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked a lego.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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