some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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