careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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