Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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