are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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