So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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