seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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