..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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