I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
