i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I want is dick and wine.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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