If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize