I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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