Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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