All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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