Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
