it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
