My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
