I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize