Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize