Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
