Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
