Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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