Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
