Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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