Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
