The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
