you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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