Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
