I've blown a few things in my day
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
