never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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