She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
