He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
