good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
