ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
