We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
