she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
