PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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