If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
