Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
