I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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