this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
