ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
