I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
