I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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