OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize