Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
