Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
