i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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