I'm laying in your front yard are you home
honey bunches of taint.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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