Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
