Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
