I want to have your abortion
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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