You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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