you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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