so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
