beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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