Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
