Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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